Well we are still in the hospital, and my fears about her veins has now been addressed. This morning Norah is having surgery to get a Broviac catheter placed in hopes that we can use it for blood draws, IV fluids, TPN if her lack of weight gain continues to be an issue, and will be in place for the transplant itself. Several weeks ago the nurse at UCLA mentioned the Broviac to me because they put one in during the transplant surgery and leave it in place for her after her surgery for her home care. The major concern was infection since its like a permanent IV that goes into her chest using the subclavian vasculature.

As if any surgery or procedure isn’t scary enough for our tiny baby girl, this morning all of the doctors (Gastrenterologist, Surgeon, and Anesthesiologist) bombarded me with more potential downfalls of this whole thing. I felt completely panicked as I kissed Norah before they wheeled her into the OR and told her how much her daddy and I love her. Why does her life have to be so unfair? How does she. Deserve all of this? Why can’t anything go smoothly and easily for us? I don’t want to sound ungrateful for all we have in our life and I don’t want pity… I’m just confused and scared for Norah and this hard, hard life she has had and continues to experience. She hasn’t gotten any breaks and all of  us are so tired through all of this. Will the pain and heartache ever stop?

Just as I ask that question, I must remember to be strong and have faith. I mean, look at this beautiful smile…